When I grow up
When I was a young boy I read Mad Magazine.
I loved the cartoons in the margins because they were always showing people getting drunk and high on grass.
That’s when I decided that I wanted to be a drug addict when I grew up. And that’s exactly what I became: a 100% certified low-flyer.
Anyway, that was pretty cool for awhile, but then it got to be a real drag. And when I finally quit I found out that in my rush to grow up I never really had any dreams beyond being on dope.
So I just kinda fell back on to the dreams that normal kids have.
So in no particular order, here is the list of things I want to be when I grow up:
Bandit
Captain
A gigantic walking talking pitcher of Kool-Aid that crashes through walls and scares young children.
A… ummm… what the hell was H.R.Pufnstuf anyway?
Anyway, that’s a little strange, so let’s see now… superhero.
Fast food restaurant employee.
The Fonz.
A Sweathog
And after many years of struggling, I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up: David Lee Roth.
Unfortunately, that dream never came true for me. But that’s okay, I’m a big boy now!
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