[Note: this post has a lot of audio samples. Click to listen.]

1982 was one of the greatest years of my life.

In 1982 I got drunk for the first time. I went to my first punk rock show. I met some of my best friends for life. And the greatest movie ever made, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, was released to the world.

This movie was chock-full of good role models for a growing boy such as me. There was Jeff Spiccoli, a stoner.

Brad Hamilton, your All-American boy.

Pretty much everything in life I didn’t pick up from Star Wars I learned in Fast Times. For example, I learned about the importance of getting a good education from Jeff and Mr. Hand (click these buttons to hear sound samples).

And I learned about the birth of this great nation.

Brad taught me about the importance of hard work.

And they taught me why we should always drive with both hands on the steering wheel.

I learned about having a good time.

Most importantly, if it wasn’t for Fast Times I never would’ve met my wife.

You see, Mike Damone introduced his patented “5-point plan” for scoring with the babes.

Fortunately for you, I am going to share it with you here:

1. You never let on how much you like a girl. Example: “Oh, Debbie. Hi.”
2. You always call the shots. Example: “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.”
3. Act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. Example: “Hey Debbie, isn’t this great?”
4. When ordering food you find out what she wants and then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. Example: “The lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.”
5. …And this is most important… When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

I pretty much credit the 5-point plan for my successful marriage.

You can watch the video tutorial here.

Aloha Mr. Hand.

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