Or maybe it was from that time that we bought this doobie off this guy Keith in Chicago that smelled and tasted exactly like peanut skins. We knew you could get really high off of smoking peanut skins after we read it in the Anarchist Cookbook.

Yeah, and we also tripped really hard when we peeled the skins off 30 lbs. of bananas, scraped off the insides of the skins, baked it in the oven until it was all dry, smashed it up, and then put it in a pipe and smoked it. Bananadine, baby! Another Anarchist Cookbook classic. My dad came home during the middle of it and we told him it was a science project for school.

Or maybe it was the time in 1986 when we dried up a tequila worm on the dashboard of my friend’s Volkswagen Hippie Van and smoked it out of a pipe on the beach in Lincoln City, Oregon. Yeah, I am definitely still high off that!

Back in those days our favorite music to listen to whilst under the influence of hallucinogens like dried tequila worms were the albums Psychedelic Guitars, More Psychedelic Guitars, and The Zodiac (more on that one here).

Being high out of my mind was so cool. Except for that time when I was on acid and I was making out with this cheerleader. I was about to score and then I threw up on her thingies. But that’s another story.

So it turns out my friend Chrissor figured out that the Psychedelic Guitars series were actually put out by guitar legend Jerry Cole, who at various times recorded under the names Jerry Cole & His Spacemen, The Scramblers, The Blasters, The Stingers, Billy Boyd, Eddy Wayne, The Winners, The Hot Rodders, The Deuce Coupes, The Red Jackets, and The Id.

Without further ado, here are some samples of this master at work. All of these songs appeared on the Psychedelic Guitars series (not available on CD) with the exception of the song by The Id.

The Stingers, Mojo

Jerry Cole, George Played

Jerry Cole and The Strokers, The Green Monster

Jerry Cole, Boss Hair

The Blasters, Steering Wheel Stuck

Jerry Cole, Hip Hugger

The Blasters, Bad Rubber

The Id, Boil the Kettle

Check out these other sites to get more fabulous Jerry Cole music:

elsebasto

Trustar Vibrations

HIPPY-DJKIT

Nothin Sez’ Somethin’

When you are hunting rats you need to get into their little pea-sized brains. You need to think like the rat and become the rat.

I went deep man. I stripped off my clothes and covered my body in camo. I buried myself in the jungle and was silent. My breathing blended into the sounds of the night. Pretty soon I could feel the rat without even opening my eyes.

They were dead meat. We dropped a line of napalm on their hideout and incinerated them.

I’m a union organizer and this is the same way we treat employers. They are all rats when it comes to their workers.

Anyway, my friend the Aloha Viking has mad skills when it comes to rat hunting. I learned my techniques from him, so this post is dedicated to him and my little luchador friends in Hawaii.

Finally, we got to listen to a lot of Waylon Jennings in paradise, so this post features some of the great men of country music. I’m glad to know that the Aloha Viking is still on the line.

Glenn Campbell, Wichita Lineman

Waylon Jennings, theme song to the Dukes of Hazzard

Merle Haggard, Workin’ Man Blues

Johnny Paycheck, Colorado Cool-Aid

Charlie & Bruce Robison, Rayne, Louisiana

Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison Blues

Chris Knight, It Ain’t Easy Being Me

The first thing is Al Gore invented the internet. Then he invented that Y2K thing and everybody said the whole world was going to shut down.

Well he would’ve gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those pesky kids.

So then he went back to the drawing board and came up with this global warming stuff. Now all of the animals are dying, rivers and lakes are drying up, the sun is melting the polar icecaps, and hurricanes are attacking the administration of George W. Bush. I mean come on you lost the election quit being such a baby.

Anyway I’m on to you Al Gore. You better watch it buddy. You can try to disguise yourself but it won’t help.

I’m calling in the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth to take care of you. Where are those defenders of freedom when you need them?

Now for the music.

I just stumbled across the most AWESOME music blog ever. This site is dedicated to the Seattle music scene in the 80s, where your humble host was slamdancing at clubs in Pioneer Square, snorting amyly nitrite, and drinking 40-ouncers to his heart’s delight. What a trip down memory lane this was for me.

Here are a few samples from the site, but please check it out yourself: lamestain.

Mr. Epp, Mohawk Man

The U-Men, Shoot ‘Em Down

Dickless, Sweet Teeth

And last but not least, Landrew the Love God and Malfunkshun performing My Only Fan

And from my own collection, Mother Love Bone live at the Vogue in 1990 performing Hold Your Head Up High.

R.I.P. Landrew.

Thanks Lamestain!

You see every weekend me and the Mrs. go down to Dublin to bowl with our friends at the lanes of bowling legend Earl Anthony.

Anyway, I told him how the wife is always getting on my case about how I don’t get enough exercise.

He said, “What are you talking about? You tell her that bowling IS exercise!”

And he is right. I read it on the internet so it must be true.

You see, a 190 lb. person burns 116 calories in one hour of bowling. That is the same as a vigorous game of lawn darts, croquet, playing catch, and one of the greatest athletic challenges in the wide world of sports : fishing.

But in case you are still in doubt, check out this book:

See bowlers need to pop ‘roids and lift weights just like other professional athletes.

I mean just take a look at some of these fine athletes:

If you’re not convinced by now that bowling provides a good strenuous workout, here’s a picture of a sign posted on the wall at Earl Anthony’s.

See, I told you!

Now for the music…

Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd St. Rhythm Band, Express Yourself

The Specials, Ghost Town

AC/DC, Gone Shootin’

Neil Diamond, Kentucky Woman

The Go-Go’s, Our Lips Are Sealed

Frank Sinatra, The Lady Is A Tramp

Theme song from Welcome Back, Kotter

I mean, he started out so cool. Little brother to the Fonz!

This was a guy that jumped over sharks on waterskis, fer chrissakes.

So how was it that he went on to the ill-fated romance with Joanie. WTF?!?!!!

(I wish I had this copy of Teen Beat… Van Halen, Styx, Rick Springfield, the Go-Go’s, Joan Jett, and Journey! That is like a wet dream for me.)

Anyway, he coulda got with Leather Tuscadero instead!

But maybe his heyday was Charles in Charge.

Does everybody remember the oldest daughter, Jamie Powell?

Here he is looking like he’s about to take charge of her!

Okay, I have to admit that my perverted adolescent mind wanted to be in charge of her, too. She was played by Nicole Eggert, who later went on to tear up the surf on Baywatch.

Nice shorts, babe. I should buy a pair of those for the wife!

Of course, this show saw him paired up with Eight is Enough’s own Willie Ames — possibly one of the greatest and short-lived comedy duos in history.

Who can forget that jokester Buddy Lembeck?

(Nice feathered hair on the babe on the right, huh?)

These two also starred together in one of the best 80s teenage boner flicks ever, Zapped!

Chachi played teenage whiz kid Barney Springboro.

By the way, Zapped! also featured one of the all-time greatest geeks in movie history, Eddie Deezen. He is one of my true heroes.

Chachi had this science accident that gave him amazing Jedi-powers, which he used to make Heather Thomas’ sweater pop open.

Now that was AWESOME!

And that was before Heather went on to star in the classic TV hit The Fall Guy, along side the Bionic Man (who played badass Colt Seavers).

She is not to be confused with the other hot Heather of the 80s, Heather Locklear, who kicked butt with Captain Kirk in TJ Hooker.

Now if anyone is offended by all of this you have to remember what I was talking about, which is Barney using his super-powers to make the buttons on Heather’s sweater pop open.

You see, you need to understand that the sight of cleavage immediately renders all teenage boys and men TOTALLY WEAK AND HELPLESS.

This is a fact as old as time itself.

Anyway, I’m afraid Chachi wound up on one of those VH1 “Where Are They Now?” specials with some other washed up deadbeat celebrity from my childhood. Chachi, what happened to you, man?

Now how ’bout some music? I got a strange mix for you today…

RIAA, Birds

Willie Nelson, Devil In A Sleepin’ Bag

Madeline Peyroux, Careless Love

Tommy Guerrero (of the Bones Brigade!), War No More

Aretha Franklin, Drown In My Own Tears

Johnny Cash, Tennessee Flat Top Box

The Minutemen, History Lesson, Pt. 2

Someday my dream is to play poker in my basement with Duane “Dog” Chapman, the god of bounty hunters.

The problem is that the US Government has captured this glorious freedom fighter.

So I have joined the ranks of millions of fans worldwide in calling on Secretary of State Cunnilungus Rice to release the Dog from custody so he can go back to capturing fugitives and making the world safer.

You can sign the petition here. And read more about the Dog’s offer to rid the world of freedom-haters here.

And while you’re doing all of this check out these rockin’ “dog”-themed tunes.

Iggy and the Stooges, I Wanna Be Your Dog.

The Hot Dog Stand, Zilch.

Adam and the Ants, Dog Eat Dog.

The Be Good Tanyas, Dog Song aka Sleep Dog Lullaby.

Fugazi, Bulldog Front.

The Fireballs, Bulldogg.

And In Loving Memory of Landrew The Love God, here’s Seattle’s own Mother Love Bone singing Stardog Champion.

For example, which movie is better: The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi?

I was outraged to discover that my comrades at work think that Jedi is better. They are just wrong. Empire is the superior movie in every aspect. I know this is a subject of intense debates. It keeps people like this guy up at night.

What a dork! (But I gotta admit that costume is pretty cool…)
But the debate was put to rest in another cinematic masterpiece, Clerks, when the character Dante aid:

“Empire had the better ending, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father, Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett, it ends on such a down-note. That’s what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was bunch of Muppets.”

Amen, brother!

Watch it here.

Empire just moved me. I felt Chewie’s anguish when Han got frozen.

And Yoda’s little psycho moment when he tells Luke “You WILL be afraid” reminded me of some of my acid trips.

Finally, what can you say about Vader dropping a real “f-bomb” (father-bomb, that is)? Now that’s drama at it’s finest!

Now don’t get me wrong–Jedi did have some cool stuff going for it.

For example, Princess Leia in her bikini still fuels millions of adolescent fantasies.

HOT MAMA!

And anything with Jabba the Hutt is awesome. I mean that dude’s brain was too powerful for Jedi Mind Tricks.

Did anybody else ever notice the strong resemblance between Jabba and another one of my movie heroes, Chet from Weird Science?

Definitely one of the most kickass movie men in history. Bill Paxton should’ve won an Oscar for that role!

Now it’s time to rock out!

In the spirit of the theme, here are some space songs.

Here’s the song that started this whole damn blog post, Supernova doing Chewbacca.

David Bowie doing an acoustic version of Space Oddity.

Jimi Hendrix doing Valleys of Neptune.

The Jeff Wayne Space Shuttle doing Apes’ Shuffle.

Lou Reed doing Satellite of Love.

The Upsetters doing Outer Space.

And The Ventures doing Out of Limits.

I mean I love butts. I love looking at them and making stupid butt jokes. Who doesn’t?
So this should be a guaranteed moneymaker! I even got that patented cool Apple white color.

You might want to check out some of my prototype models, which were based on GI Joe. He was a Real American Hero.

You may remember GI Joe had that fierce “Kung-Fu Grip” which could decimate his enemies in seconds (much like the Vulcan Nerve Pinch).

In fact, GI Joe kicked so much ass that they even created a GI Joe doll out of wrestling legend and patriotic ass-kicker Sgt. Slaughter.

This hero is a 4-time world heavyweight wrestling champion. They flew the American Flag over our Nation’s Capitol in recognition of his achievements. What’s not to love about him?

Anyway, as I was saying, my whole inspiration came from the GI Joe dolls and this web site, The Many Butts of GI Joe.

And lest you get disappointed that there is no music for you here, I am including a song that describes how I feel when I think or talk about butts.

Aerosmith, Sweet Emotion.

And here’s a few more fun songs:

The Jam, That’s Entertainment (from the great Will Ferrell movie Stranger Than Fiction)

Joe Walsh, A Life Of Illusion

Six Parts Seven, Stolen Moments (find out more about this excellent band here)

And the theme song from one of my favorite shows which I still like to watch courtesy of the folks over TV Land, that majestic ballad of the Ponderosa: Bonanza

Me and “The Bandit” would deliver ice cold beer to the thirsty people of America. I’d have a mustache and the chicks would dig me.

And I’d have a little buddy chimpanzee riding along with me enjoying the freedom of the open road.

Well, that dream never came true for me. And like many of my career aspirations, my wife vetoed truck-driving school.

And she vetoed the mustache.

So now it looks like the closest I will ever get to my dreams is organizing truck drivers with the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.

Here is my tribute to the long-haulers, gearjammers, big-time operators, dixie cups, and desperadoes of America’s highways. Just click to play or download these classic truck-drivin’ tunes!
Red Simpson, Hello I’m a Truck

Red Sovine, Gear Jammer & The Hobo

Dick Curless, Tombstone Every Mile

CW McCall, Convoy

Del Reeves, Girl On The Billboard

Jerry Reed, East Bound and Down

Red Sovine, Phantom 309

Red Simpson, Born To Be A Trucker

Merle Haggard, Truck Driver’s Blues

And this tear-jerkin’ tribute to the American truck driver courtesy of WFMU’s beware of the Blog.

Dave Nemo, I Am The American Trucker

And you can find out more about my trucker obsession here.

That’s a 10-10 from Santo in the Bay City and I’m back out!

My first concert was AC/DC. It was 1981 and they were on tour for Back in Black.

I caught them again on the For Those About to Rock, We Salute You tour.They opened with “Hells Bells”. The stadium was pitch black and the bells started ringing. Thousands of lighters went up throughout the crowd and people were screaming.

I have never seen so much Jack Daniels in my life. It was one of the most awesome moments I ever had.

Click and listen and just imagine you were there:[See post to listen to audio]

And get your own copy: AC/DC - Hells Bells

I saw some great concerts in my time. I went to the “Grand Slam Summer Jam” in the Kingdome and saw Foreigner, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Blue Oyster Cult, and Loverboy. They turned all the lights off and shined the lights on Mike Reno’s ass and flashed it up on the big screen. Tens of thousands of rocker chicks went crazy.

I saw Iron Maiden, Ozzy Osbourne, and the gods from the north, Rush.

You see, stadium rock was all about partying. Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll… who could ask for anything more?

If I could construct a time machine I would fly back in time to see these concerts, which I consider to be the ultimate in stadium rock experiences:

The Who, “Baba O’Riley” and “We Won’t Get Fooled Again”
[See post to listen to audio]

The Who - Baba O’Riley

[See post to listen to audio]

The Who - Won’t Get Fooled Again

Thanks to my friend Dave M, who this post is dedicated to, for finding this concert footage on YouTube.

Peter Frampton, “Do You Feel Like We Do”

[See post to listen to audio]

Peter Frampton - Do You Feel Like We Do

You can almost hear some stoner dude’s head explode during this song. Check out the concert footage.

Black Sabbath, “Black Sabbath”

The gods of metal.  This song gas it all… bells, thunder and lightning, and heavy guitars.  I would kill to be there.
[See post to listen to audio]

Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath

Here’s the concert footage.

And in the words of the immortal Ozzman, “Oh God, please help me!”